Five minutes prior to our flight's
departure from the gate, the captain came on the intercom:
“Well, I guess this isn't really bad
news but we have an equipment problem, and we'll have to ask everyone
to vacate the plane. Hopefully, we can get a replacement plane and
get you on your way.”
I wondered what he considered bad news.
I can imagine his announcement if the plane suddenly started going
down in a flaming death spiral:
“Well folks, as you can see we're
having some issues up here but it's not the worst news. Oh wait,
here comes the worst part...”
The second morning, I left the hotel
room to get our morning coffee from the lobby Starbucks. As I waited
for the elevator, I heard a bell ringing and pounding from one of the
elevator doors followed by, “Hello? Hello?”
Apparently a damsel was stuck on the
elevator. This caused a dilemma: help her out or go get my coffee
(and maybe I should take the stairs to do so)?
With no tools, I figured I probably
couldn't get the door open. I also realized that if I said anything
to her, she might get irrational expectations that I could actually
help, so I just went downstairs. But I did tell the front desk about
her before I got the coffee.
(Note:
I always thought the proper spelling for “dilemma” was
“dilemna”. Not true, apparently.
)
Pretty much every wedding weekend I
attend involves a golfing excursion. This time we got to play with
my 14 year-old nephew who was playing for the second or third time
ever. We taught him some very important lessons:
- Every golfer must learn how to drive the cart with his left foot while sitting on the passenger side, left hand on steering wheel and right hand holding a beer. (we allowed him to hold a soda instead)
- He must also master the art of leaning out of the moving cart to pluck a golf ball from the ground.
- If you hit an errant shot that hits a house, car, or person, do not approach! Immediately drive to the other side of the fairway, drop a new ball and pretend like nothing happened and/or blame it on someone else in the group.
- Never hit on the beer cart girl for the same reason you never hit on strippers or Hooters' waitresses.
The outdoor, riverside, wedding
ceremony started at 6:00 p.m. Everyone had large sweat stains on
their backs before the dancing even started. Probably the best part
occurred during a quiet prayerful moment during the ceremony when
someone from a passing boat yelled, “Don't do it!”
During the reception, some guests
grumbled that the DJ wasn't playing enough 70's music (ie disco). A
family member mentioned something along the lines of, “with the
exception of REM, the 80's were the worst decade for music.”
Flabbergasted, I stammered, “What? I
will put together a three hour symposium on how 80's music is
superior to 70's music.” Just then, a Bon Jovi song came on.
“Okay, that doesn't help my case, but...”
The only disappointing thing about the
trip was that there was no Kung Fu Fighting at the reception (the
song nor a real fight).
