On our last night in Las Vegas, I sat
at the bar getting in one last session of video poker. A young
gentleman in his twenties with a beard and half black hair and half
blue hair sat down at the end of the bar and ordered a beer. The
bartender set down the beer, and they started chatting like they knew
each other.
Blue: Just got back from dinner on top
of the Stratosphere.
Bartender: Yeah? How was it?
Blue: Alright. I didn't know fancy
dinners took so long. We were there 4 and a half hours! I wasn't
paying so I figured I'd stay til the end.
Bartender: Took my girlfriend there
once. Was good but probably not worth the price.
Blue: Yeah, I had the sirloin. Better
than Golden Corral but you know, a sirloin is a sirloin. You can get
them anywhere. Anyway, I'm expecting some friends, can I start a
tab?
(A few minutes later, a guy in his mid
fifties showed up and sat next to Blue.)
Blue: English Dan! How the hell are
you? (They shake hands) How was your flight?
Dan: A flight's a flight.
Blue: Tell me about it. I'm wiped.
Just got back from dinner on top of Stratosphere. Didn't want to go
but Dad woke me from my nap and insisted.
(Me thinking: He's there with his dad.
Interesting.)
Dan: Stratosphere? What you doing up
there?
Blue: Oh man, I'm sorry. Geno called
this afternoon. Said he wanted to meet the whole team but his only
free night this week was tonight. So he took us up there. Man, I
told him you couldn't make it but he said that's his only night and
he'd make it up to you.
Dan: Yeah? How so?
Blue: He'll probably buy you lunch or
a drink sometime.
Dan: Yeah? On top of the f*%$ing
Stratosphere?
Blue: Geno's good for it. I saw the
bill. Over two grand. And Geno's a good tipper.
(Me thinking: Okay, so these guys work
for Geno in some capacity along with Blue's dad. And I can tell by
looking at English Dan, he's been around the block a few times. He's
not bought into this company and wonders if he's going to get paid
while Blue is the young idealist thinking he's going to score big.)
Blue: The food wasn't very good
anyway. You didn't miss anything.
Dan: Where's everyone else?
Blue: I think they're still at the
Stratosphere. Geno took everyone up top to ride the rides. He paid
for everything. (pause) Don't worry, Geno's gonna make it up to
you.
Dan: How? Take me on a f*&%ing
rollercoaster ride?
(another guy, Ray, in his twenties with
short brown hair sat down with them)
Ray: English Dan! Good to see you!
Dan: Yeah, you go to the Strat too?
Ray: Just got off the rollercoaster.
Geno woofed his dinner on it! Chunks of tenderloin flying out his
mouth at 75 miles per hour and falling 150 stories!
Blue: Yeah, they still there?
Ray: The man can't be stopped. Went
to the bar, had a shot, then did the sky jump. Unbelievable. Man,
this is a long walk from the Stratosphere. How'd we end up staying
here? (Main Street Station)
Blue: Because last year we were at
California Club. Dad got drunk and trashed the room. We got banned
for life so Mom booked us here.
(Me thinking: Getting weirder. He's
here with mom and dad and apparently they like to party pretty hard.)
Dan: So how was your dinner Ray? Blue
said not so hot.
Ray: Fantastic! Best salad I ever
had. Dressing was amazing like a cool ranch blue cheese thing. And
it just got better after that.
Dan: F*&% you.
Blue: Come on Ray. Wasn't English
Dan's fault he missed the dinner. I was just telling him Geno
promised to make it up to him.
Ray: He's right English Dan. I sat
next to Geno and Geno said, "who's not here?" And I said
English Dan. And he's asking me how he can make it up to you. And I
said it's gotta be something good like a big ol Po'boy or something.
Dan: F*&% you.
Ray: Aw, English Dan, I'm just bustin'
your balls. Geno's good for it. I don't know what he's gonna do but
he's gonna make it up to you.
(Me thinking: Why do they keep calling
him English Dan? Can't he just go by Dan? And why don't I have a
tape recorder. From now on, I need to bring a tape recorder to
Vegas.)
Ray: So where's mom and dad?
Blue: Mom's in bed already. Tired
after all the traveling. Last I saw Dad was at Stratosphere. He got
pretty lit up then walked down the stairs from the top of the
Stratosphere. Can you believe it? What's that, like 300 stories?
Anyway, hostess sees him come out of the stairwell, and he's drenched
in sweat. She's like, "what happened to you?" And he
says, "I was looking for the restroom." She points across
the lobby and he says, "Oh don't worry, I found one on the 50th
floor."
Ray: Oh man, I love Dad.
(Me thinking: Okay, so mom and dad
must not really be their parents because they're definitely not
brothers. Some sort of code name.)
Blue: Anyway, we meet Mom and Dad at
9:00 for breakfast. Then we set up shop at 2:00. Geno's gonna be in
and around. He's got meetings all week.
(Me thinking: I started to get the
picture. Geno is the head of a pyramid scheme. Mom and Dad are the
local bosses of the team while Blue, Ray and English Dan are at
the bottom of the pyramid. Blue and Ray are the suckers while English
Dan knows it's going nowhere. I just can't figure out what they're
selling. But the whole conversation reminded me of the film
"Glengarry Glen Ross" except without the suits and without
the real estate and less profanity. My best guess was that they're selling vitamin
supplements. But I also realized I had now spent an extra $20 on the
video poker that I wasn't planning on spending just to keep listening
to them. But it was worth it.)
Ray: What do you say we hit that
Fremont Street experience. Supposed to be pretty cool.
Dan: I'm going to bed.
Blue: Lighten up English Dan. I told
you Geno's gonna make it up to you. Hey Ray, did I tell you I saw
the check at the Stratosphere? Over 3 grand!
Ray: Yeah and I bet Geno left a big
tip too. English Dan, when Geno buys you a beer, hold out for
something better than a Miller Lite. Like a Guinness or Stella
Artois or something.
Dan: (flips off Ray)
Ray: (to bartender) Hey, can I get a
cup of coffee?
Me: (I hit the cash out button on the
machine and stand up.) Coffee? Coffee is for closers!
Very clever! Love the title and the final line in particular!
ReplyDeleteThanks, glad you enjoyed it.
DeleteHAHA! I bet they were there for a bowling tournament ;)
ReplyDeleteHa! You are so right! Wish I had thought of that. Hope they did well. Thanks for the comment.
DeletePerhaps they were all mates of Hunter S. Thompson!
ReplyDeleteI wonder what they had in the trunk of their cars! Not vitamins, I bet! ;)
Not sure they were wild enough to be mates of his, but yeah, I wouldn't want to look in their car trunk either. Thanks for the comment!
Delete