Friday, March 13, 2015

Jessie's Friend

Today we have another episode of: Songs I Find Perplexing.

If you grew up in the eighties, you are quite familiar with soap opera star turned pop star Rick Springfield's hit song "Jessie's Girl." Or maybe you just currently listen to an oldies station, and you are now familiar with that song. The song was a massive hit because to be honest it had a good beat, and I guess you could dance to it. But I'm not sure anyone ever paid much attention to the lyrics.

Quick synopsis (full lyrics or song): Rick is jealous of his friend Jessie's new girlfriend. And being the good friend that he is, Rick kind of would like to make that girl his girlfriend. Or just talk dirty to her, I'm not sure.

It's one thing to be envious or even a little jealous of a friend's lover, but when you start fantasizing and scheming, you're crossing the line into creepy stalker territory. Because of that, I felt I needed to write the rebuttal song from Jessie's point of view (to the tune of the original song):

Jessie's Friend

Rick is an old friend
Yeah more like some guy I know than friend
But something changed when I dated Chiffon
Now he follows us around like a lost puppy

And he's watching us with that telescope
And he's doing something with his hand, I just know it
He even knocks on our door, late late at night

You know I wish that Rick would go away
We never have time to ourselves
Where can we find a hiding place?

Chiffon told me 'bout the calls
Some guy breathing heavy then hanging up
I did some CSI, found the payphone booth
Saw Rick coming out, said "you seem out of breath"

He said hey I was looking to have a beer with you
I said Rick I think the beer is kind of moot
And he said, no you mean Moosehead

Why am I having a beer with Rick?
Why's he asking 'bout Chiffon's underwear?
Where can I find a hobby for Rick?

And we look in the mirror all the time
Wondering if he's coming up behind us
He brings Chiffon perfume and wine
Winks and tells her she needs a napkin
cus she seems dirty

You know I wish that Rick would go away
He's creepy and gettin' pretty scary
Why must I be Chiffon's bodyguard?

So we went to the police
Told them about Rick the stalker
They laughed and said that's impossible
Rick's a big soap star and makes so much bank

He's banging every Hollywood starlet
They just know it
He's still on the radio 30 years later

You know he'll never go away
Rick could have had any girl
Chiffon's asking 'bout his riches
Where can she find net worth like that?


  1. Rick Springfield, of course, is an Aussie!

    It's a very catchy tune...and many are still very familiar with it...even if Rick didn't get the opportunity to be familiar with Jesse's girl!

    It's kind of like that segment in "Love Actually" where the fellow is in love with his best mate's new bride...I love the movie and have seen it many times...but that vignette still is a little baffling to she or is she not cheating mentally? Hmmmmm....and let's face it...he was more than a bit out of line...arriving at their door with a sign declaring his love for her....etc., etc., et al....

    1. Forgot about him being an Aussie! Have not seen the movie you mentioned but that sounds really creepy. Thanks for the comment!

    2. No, no..."Love Actually" isn't at all a creepy movie, Dexter.. It's a wonderful, happy movie. It's always replayed here on TV around Christmas time.

    3. Yes, I agree -- "Love Actually" is a wonderful movie! It's got Colin Firth in it, fergawdsakes!